Healthy Relationships and you
Hey listen I wrote an article !! would you like to go through it ?
Sure.
Ummm you’ve used small letters you should have used capital letters,(the partner who was waiting for some good comment , squirms and tries hard not to say anything).
Acha see the pictures I’ve put.
hmm why don’t you use some different pictures (now it STUNG!! And the hell broke lose out came the venom through words so harsh and punishing )
f o
leave my article ,you don’t deserve to read it ,
when your friends tell you they love your pics ,they don’t say oh your garden wall is dirty ,your plants need pruning,they simply praise what you put there to be praised on the social media , so why is it that everytime I put forward something ,the first thing you do is finding fault?.
And the doors banged and then there was stony chilling silence .
And inside the brain it was piping boiling hot and it made all the blood vessels fill up with burning desire to hit out or hurt and helplessnesss and the baggages of all past hurts came tumbling out to smother the breath
Suddenly not even praanyam could provide the answer. The whole body was shaking with rage ,there was a lump in the throat and a weakness of limbs.
So instead of appreciation which the partner is waiting for a war broke out .Even after decades of living together in the institution of marriage where partners grow with each other they still were like children as far as the interaction was concerned.
Relationships are interactions which can be need based or want based
Need based relationships can become very scary because the other person can become like a lifeline to you and whenever that other is not there, it scares you and makes you feel helpless and anxious about losing them. Relationships where we want to be with the others are based on mutually nurturing points it’s not based on fear of being left alone or what will I do without you feeling.
Relationship can be with others, partners, parents, siblings, colleagues our pets, with God, and most important with our own selves.
Just think about it what is your relationship type?
Is it a need or it is a want to be with based relationship? And then see is the relationship healthy or faulty and painful and toxic ?
A healthy relationship is based on a rock called good and effective communication which is
Clear
Kind
Respectful
Not talking just to prove a point
Not hesitating to Apologies
Owns up and doesn’t hesitate to say “I’m sorry,” how can I make it up to you?
Genuinely repenting and easily asking for forgiveness, “Will you forgive me?”
A Healthy Loving Relationship includes
Respecting
Cherishing
Sharing
Genuinely showing interest
Acceptance and not trying to change the other person .
Self-reflection & self-work on your responses and emotional triggers.
None of the above seems to be happening in the above shared episode and there were innumerable such incidents in their daily life .it followed by ,remorse,guilt,sorry etc but the response remained same .
So let’s for a moment think what is going on here and what is not happening.
Communication is not clear because NLP says communication happens between two people when the response is the one the other desired .but here neither was conveying correctly.
The partner could have specifically told here is an article I want you to read , please don’t go on grammar etc. for the moment.
Or the other partner could have gone through it honestly and completely and praised or given genuine opinion about the subject matter rather than checking it like a class teacher for mistakes. And could have asked politely do you require any help from my side? If yes then gently politely told what to the partners mind could add to a beautifully written piece
But in the instance the relationship is need based – a need to be appreciated and applauded by the partner, and on the other side is the need to tick rather applaud. And since the conversation is need based and there was no clear communication about the intent of showing the article ,the happiness depended on partner’s praise which never came ,the hurt happened , let’s see whether they follow the above mentioned points and make it a healthy loving nurturing relationship
So think about it is your relationship healthy and has sharing ,caring ,respect ,love and kindness.
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